Current:Home > News'Fair Play' and when you're jealous of your partner’s work success -NextFrontier Finance
'Fair Play' and when you're jealous of your partner’s work success
PredictIQ Quantitative Think Tank Center View
Date:2025-04-09 13:09:03
That promotion you've yearned for just went to your colleague. That raise you asked for won't hit your bank account after all. That company you were hoping to work at − they rejected you.
Everyone faces job disappointments. But what happens when your partner is killing it professionally, while you're stuck in a rut?
In Netflix's new movie "Fair Play" (now streaming), Emily (Phoebe Dynevor) gets promoted in lieu of her fiancée Luke (Alden Ehrenreich) at their demanding financial firm. While not every scenario will hit as close to home – as not everyone works with their partner – the movie dredges up questions about how we deal with professional jealousy.
Personal insecurity is typically the root of jealousy, according to experts, and it requires unpacking the reasons behind it and talking with your partner to figure out how to best move forward.
"When we experience jealousy, we're really coming up against what we see as threats in our own fear of loss," says Miranda Nadeau, a licensed psychologist. "What could it mean about my career, if someone else is successful? What might I lose, based on what someone else is gaining? Recognizing the underlying dynamics is the first step in moving toward peace."
'Jealousy is a natural human emotion'
First: Don't try and run from your jealous feelings. "Jealousy is a natural human emotion, and treating yourself with kindness when it arises – rather than berating yourself or blaming yourself for being unsupportive – will also help with feeling your feelings in a way that they don't have control over you," Nadeau says.
Those who are jealous feel inadequate in some way, and have "a deep concern that something or someone will be taken away from them," adds Cecille Ahrens, a licensed clinical social worker.
In the case of work success, "it may be helpful to examine what 'stories' or 'beliefs' one might be having about the situation," Ahrens says. What are you telling yourself in your head about your partner's promotion? Are their sexist or otherwise problematic views feeding your irrational thoughts about the situation?
"Evaluate the validity of these stories or beliefs and see if they are in fact true or factual," Ahrens says.
Also consider whether this has come up before in your life, and how. "Are you being triggered or activated by a past event?" Ahrens says. "All of these things can contribute to one’s feelings of jealousy, especially if these feelings are unresolved."
Nadeau adds: "If you can have some openness with your own jealousy, and if you can combine that compassion with trying to empathetically relate to the person you're jealous of, you may find yourself experiencing compersion, or sympathetic happiness for others' joy."
In case you missed:How to stop jealousy from destroying your relationship
'Avoid blaming or accusing'
If you're looking to at least somewhatquell your jealousy so you can be happy for your partner, consider practicing gratitude. Nadeau suggests "making a gratitude list of 10 things you're grateful for, perhaps in the domain where you're experiencing jealousy, or keep a gratitude journal of five things each day that you can appreciate." After some internal work on the roots of your jealousy, where do you go next?
Of course, Talk with your partner about how you're feeling before jealousy jumps out of you into biting comments or worse, a fit of rage.
"Avoid blaming or accusing them of wrongdoing. Instead, focus on your emotions and how you want to address them together," Sara Kuburic, a relationship expert, previously wrote in a column for USA TODAY. "Remember, feeling jealous is nothing we need to apologize for but we do need to ensure that our actions are still respectful and authentic."
Ahrens adds: "Communicating your underlying fears and concerns with your partner can help you receive the support and reassurance you need from your partner. Focusing on the things that you enjoy and experiences that add meaning and happiness to your life outside of the relationship is often helpful."
Overall, remember not to be too hard on yourself. Everyone dances with that green-eyed monster once in awhile. "Experiencing jealousy is not 'good' nor 'bad,'" Ahrens says. "It usually signals that something in our life needs attention or healing."
Uh oh:Are you ruining your relationship without even realizing it?
veryGood! (2)
Related
- Matt Damon remembers pal Robin Williams: 'He was a very deep, deep river'
- An Oklahoma man used pandemic relief funds to have his name cleared of murder
- Legendary editor Marty Baron describes his 'Collision of Power' with Trump and Bezos
- For Indigenous people, solar eclipse often about reverence and tradition, not revelry
- Who's hosting 'Saturday Night Live' tonight? Musical guest, how to watch Dec. 14 episode
- Sandra Hüller’s burdens of proof, in ‘Anatomy of a Fall’ and ‘Zone of Interest’
- Japan government panel to decide whether to ask court to revoke legal status of Unification Church
- Police have unserved warrant for Miles Bridges for violation of domestic violence protective order
- Chuck Scarborough signs off: Hoda Kotb, Al Roker tribute legendary New York anchor
- Harvard student groups doxxed after signing letter blaming Israel for Hamas attack
Ranking
- Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
- A Japanese court rules it’s unconstitutional to require surgery for a change of gender on documents
- Last Call: The Best October Prime Day 2023 Deals to Shop While You Still Can
- Watching the world premiere of 'Eras Tour' movie with Taylor Swift felt like a dance party
- Paula Abdul settles lawsuit with former 'So You Think You Can Dance' co
- US arranging evacuation flights for Americans who want to leave Israel as war with Hamas rages
- Syria says Israeli airstrikes hit airports in Damascus and Aleppo, damaging their runways
- Sony announces release of new PlayStation 5 Slim models just in time for the holiday season
Recommendation
IOC's decision to separate speed climbing from other disciplines paying off
Ex-Barclays Bank boss Staley banned from senior UK finance roles over misleading Epstein statements
Indonesia’s former agriculture minister arrested for alleged corruption, including bribery
Jeannie Mai Shares Message About Healing After Jeezy Divorce Filing
Everything Simone Biles did at the Paris Olympics was amplified. She thrived in the spotlight
Wisconsin GOP to vote on banning youth transgender surgery, barring transgender girls from sports
IMF sees economic growth in the Mideast improving next year. But the Israel-Hamas war poses risks
Finnish intelligence says Russia views Finland as a hostile nation due to its NATO membership